Dearest

Dearest,

It hasn't always been this way. I haven't always been able to see so clearly, so vividly and without blinders.

The last few times we have talked, it isn't because of the reasons I give, it's because I have been trying to tell you how I feel about you and what I have always been too afraid to say. Back then, I was so afraid that being with you would be like not living...not giving myself the opportunity to truly live, meet other people, live the fairy tale. I never thought I could find the man I love in high school. I didn't think I was ready to settle down or be with someone in that capacity, but if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have been able to let you go like I did.

I treated you the way no one should be treated. You were my safety blanket, the guy that would always be there...then you weren't and it hurt.

So, what I have been wanting to tell you all these times is that I'm sorry for taking you and us for granted. I wish I could go back and take all of those things back and be with you the way it should have been all along. But now you are with someone who you want to marry and I have to accept that and know we can never be what we once were. And that's harder than anything, but I wish you the best. Just know how I feel.

All my love,
Jenna