There's the feeling again. The one that makes me a little sad to be saying goodnight to my roommates tonight. It's the Sunday night blues, and although I will only have them twice more this summer after tonight, I can't help but feel sad about having to make the trek to work in the morning. The weeks get a little longer every week, and I'm about ready to be back in Las Cruces, working and finishing my degree and staying more busy than I have been.
I miss my stuff and my friends there, although I don't know a lot of what is going on in everyone's lives.
I'm ready to get back and get into my active routine - running and going to the gym - so I can feel a bit better than I do now.
But most of all, I look forward to going back so that I can feel needed again...and so I can avoid the Sunday night blues.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Holy Cow
Per request, here is a post about my experience on the Railrunner:
Working in Santa Fe and living in Albuquerque poses its own unique set of challenges that aren't easily overcome - not knowing which restaurant will take you out back and beat you because of their OUTRAGEOUS prices, for one, or perhaps that your entire office lives here, and you're the odd one out - none of these are exactly easily handled. But one thing I haven't had to worry about is commuting, thanks to Richardson's GENIUS implementation of a mass transit rail system from Belen to Santa Fe and everywhere in between.
The first day I got up and dragged myself to the Los Ranchos/Journal Center rail station, I was as excited as a 5-year-old riding the bus for the first time...not positive on what to expect, but thoroughly enjoying it nonetheless. That first day, I managed to read 130 pages in my first "for fun" book of the summer, solidifying the love I have for mass transit where I don't have to fight my way through traffic, getting to work in a rush and as a big ball of stress. Instead, I could read, sleep, eat, enjoy my coffee and be exposed to the plethora of characters on the train.
The first was Derron, my "train friend," as I call him (although, he has since begun driving because he says it saves him an hour and a half). He was fun to chat with for the first few weeks of my adventure. After a week and a half, we settled into a nice routine of sitting in the exact same car, in roughly the same seats. He would bring the ABQ Journal and after he was done with a section, he would pass it to me. We would sit there, discussing the news of the day or the happenings on the previous night's "So You Think You Can Dance," of which both of us are avid watchers. Now, however, I mostly sleep in the mornings...
The (almost) first is the cute guy from my stop that gets on the same car as me and has these adorable glasses that he wears. But he has sat in the seat across from me and is NOT social in the least, instead sticking his ear buds in his ears and turning up his iPOD Touch. Derron and I had a bet on how old he is...I still haven't asked, but I'm almost positive I'm right (he has to be 23 and immature...what other reason is there for me to be attracted to him?).
One of the more interesting days I've had on the train recently was the time I sat next to a guy on a very full 4:10 p.m. train, looking over at his phone briefly only to read "More spanking, please...grr." Needless to say, I giggled at what he assumed was the book sitting open on my lap. It's amazing the characters you encounter.
Incidents happen often with the train, as well. Most recently, a train I wasn't on (Thank God) collided with a cow (which is a regular occurence) and broke a brake pipe. It had to be fixed and all the passengers were moved to another train. This delayed them two extra hours. A few weeks ago, Derron and I had just boarded the train and sat down when the conductor came on and said we would have to wait because there was a truck stuck on the rail down the road. But later we found out it wasn't just any truck, it was a Brinks security truck full of money... and its blown tire had caused it to roll over the tracks. That day, we boarded the train at 5 p.m. and deboarded at 7:30. It wasn't exactly a nice development...but much better than a derail.
The most recent debate I had about the train ride was whether I should invest in a neck pillow to make my "naps" a little more enjoyable...but I'm afraid a fanny pack will come next...and from experience watching Santa Fe tourists get on and off the train, I will never be that desperate for a hands-free purse option.
Working in Santa Fe and living in Albuquerque poses its own unique set of challenges that aren't easily overcome - not knowing which restaurant will take you out back and beat you because of their OUTRAGEOUS prices, for one, or perhaps that your entire office lives here, and you're the odd one out - none of these are exactly easily handled. But one thing I haven't had to worry about is commuting, thanks to Richardson's GENIUS implementation of a mass transit rail system from Belen to Santa Fe and everywhere in between.
The first day I got up and dragged myself to the Los Ranchos/Journal Center rail station, I was as excited as a 5-year-old riding the bus for the first time...not positive on what to expect, but thoroughly enjoying it nonetheless. That first day, I managed to read 130 pages in my first "for fun" book of the summer, solidifying the love I have for mass transit where I don't have to fight my way through traffic, getting to work in a rush and as a big ball of stress. Instead, I could read, sleep, eat, enjoy my coffee and be exposed to the plethora of characters on the train.
The first was Derron, my "train friend," as I call him (although, he has since begun driving because he says it saves him an hour and a half). He was fun to chat with for the first few weeks of my adventure. After a week and a half, we settled into a nice routine of sitting in the exact same car, in roughly the same seats. He would bring the ABQ Journal and after he was done with a section, he would pass it to me. We would sit there, discussing the news of the day or the happenings on the previous night's "So You Think You Can Dance," of which both of us are avid watchers. Now, however, I mostly sleep in the mornings...
The (almost) first is the cute guy from my stop that gets on the same car as me and has these adorable glasses that he wears. But he has sat in the seat across from me and is NOT social in the least, instead sticking his ear buds in his ears and turning up his iPOD Touch. Derron and I had a bet on how old he is...I still haven't asked, but I'm almost positive I'm right (he has to be 23 and immature...what other reason is there for me to be attracted to him?).
One of the more interesting days I've had on the train recently was the time I sat next to a guy on a very full 4:10 p.m. train, looking over at his phone briefly only to read "More spanking, please...grr." Needless to say, I giggled at what he assumed was the book sitting open on my lap. It's amazing the characters you encounter.
Incidents happen often with the train, as well. Most recently, a train I wasn't on (Thank God) collided with a cow (which is a regular occurence) and broke a brake pipe. It had to be fixed and all the passengers were moved to another train. This delayed them two extra hours. A few weeks ago, Derron and I had just boarded the train and sat down when the conductor came on and said we would have to wait because there was a truck stuck on the rail down the road. But later we found out it wasn't just any truck, it was a Brinks security truck full of money... and its blown tire had caused it to roll over the tracks. That day, we boarded the train at 5 p.m. and deboarded at 7:30. It wasn't exactly a nice development...but much better than a derail.
The most recent debate I had about the train ride was whether I should invest in a neck pillow to make my "naps" a little more enjoyable...but I'm afraid a fanny pack will come next...and from experience watching Santa Fe tourists get on and off the train, I will never be that desperate for a hands-free purse option.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Another week on the train
I'm back in ABQ after a weekend in Deming/Las Cruces...and anxious for next weekend to roll around again. I'm SO not ready for a week of temp work.
My goal for the rest of the year is to update at least three times a week, no matter what. What's the point of having a blog if you don't use it? Plus, sometimes I just like telling stories, and that's what this is all about.
If there are things any of my two readers would like to read, let me know and I will try and oblige.
For now, I will leave you with this: Might be buying a truck in the next couple of weeks... More to come. Don't want to jinx it.
Night
My goal for the rest of the year is to update at least three times a week, no matter what. What's the point of having a blog if you don't use it? Plus, sometimes I just like telling stories, and that's what this is all about.
If there are things any of my two readers would like to read, let me know and I will try and oblige.
For now, I will leave you with this: Might be buying a truck in the next couple of weeks... More to come. Don't want to jinx it.
Night
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Snuggles
The first night I stayed with S, it was the beginning of the New Year. Not just the beginning, but an hour after the clock struck midnight and my friends and I lit sparklers and listened to all the fireworks exploding across the City of the Crosses. After a sweet text from him that read "Can't wait for the first kiss of the New Year," I knew I was going to be with him.
As I crossed the city toward his house, I was excited to see him - butterflies and all. There weren't any cars on the road and I sailed through the lights, eager to have my kiss. As I walked up the dark porch toward his house, I realized that I really like this guy despite all my reservations. Rarely did I let people in - friends, sure...but guys had to work a little harder. I've never known why that is. Could be that I spent a year and a half pining after a "taken" man before admitting defeat and pursuing others...and by pursuing I mean giving up.
I walked into his house and he was there, laying on his futon watching "Lord of the Rings" (which, clearly, should have been a sign), and I laid down right next to him, his arms wrapping around me and allowing me to drift off to sleep. I don't know how long I was like that, but I felt comfortable enough to completely lose myself in his arms. At one point, still partically asleep and overly groggy, we stumbled to his room and, fully clothed, I crawled into bed and fell asleep. I remember him taking a big whiff of my hair - he always loved how it smelled, even after a long day - and whispered, "Night baby."
His snuggling technique should be patented. His 6-foot-tall frame and long arms wrap around, making you feel completely protected and loved. Normally, with anyone else, I wouldn't want to fall asleep like that. I like my space - a lot. But with him, it was different. I laid there for a while, listening to his light breathing on my ear until it became heavy and I drifted off, too, waking only as the sunlight began streaming through the blinds.
Never did I think I'd become so addicted to those snuggles that I would let a doomed relationship continue long past its expiration date. But it's not the relationship, it's the routine that became important, as a friend would say. Snuggles were part of my routine...and late at night, as I fall asleep, the pain is worst of all, missing those arms and light breath. Guess that's why sleep is becoming less and less likely.
As I crossed the city toward his house, I was excited to see him - butterflies and all. There weren't any cars on the road and I sailed through the lights, eager to have my kiss. As I walked up the dark porch toward his house, I realized that I really like this guy despite all my reservations. Rarely did I let people in - friends, sure...but guys had to work a little harder. I've never known why that is. Could be that I spent a year and a half pining after a "taken" man before admitting defeat and pursuing others...and by pursuing I mean giving up.
I walked into his house and he was there, laying on his futon watching "Lord of the Rings" (which, clearly, should have been a sign), and I laid down right next to him, his arms wrapping around me and allowing me to drift off to sleep. I don't know how long I was like that, but I felt comfortable enough to completely lose myself in his arms. At one point, still partically asleep and overly groggy, we stumbled to his room and, fully clothed, I crawled into bed and fell asleep. I remember him taking a big whiff of my hair - he always loved how it smelled, even after a long day - and whispered, "Night baby."
His snuggling technique should be patented. His 6-foot-tall frame and long arms wrap around, making you feel completely protected and loved. Normally, with anyone else, I wouldn't want to fall asleep like that. I like my space - a lot. But with him, it was different. I laid there for a while, listening to his light breathing on my ear until it became heavy and I drifted off, too, waking only as the sunlight began streaming through the blinds.
Never did I think I'd become so addicted to those snuggles that I would let a doomed relationship continue long past its expiration date. But it's not the relationship, it's the routine that became important, as a friend would say. Snuggles were part of my routine...and late at night, as I fall asleep, the pain is worst of all, missing those arms and light breath. Guess that's why sleep is becoming less and less likely.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Smell
At first, I couldn't quite figure out what attracted me to him.
S was, well, he was a player when I met him. He dated a couple girls at the same time, complaining to a mutual friend that one would find out about the other and both would get mad and break it off with him after which he would just start all over again. I could never figure out what attracted the sea of women that liked this tall, goofy, long-haired and carefree guy. Then again, I became enthralled by him myself.
I was dating someone else at the time - a guy who was kind, driven and, at first, admired the independent spirit I had in me. Slowly, however, I realized that the over-confident exterior that he showed to the rest of the world was just a cover for the insecurities he felt. He became far too clingy and before too long, I longed to be rid of the whiny behavior he began to display. Then S came around. He seemed like the perfect way to spend my Christmas vacation.
During finals week, we studied together, spending long nights at Milagro or International Delights where we would end up just talking and sipping coffee, getting to know each other's personality a little better. He was, by all intents and purposes, just the opposite of what I'd been looking for. He had drive, but he wasn't lethal about it - he didn't need to get to the top to be satisfied with his life. He studied too much, spent far too much time hitting the books, but managed to make time for his friends and swimming. It was intriguing how this aloof character could manage to hold my attention.
I can't seem to remember our first kiss. I don't know when it happened...I only remember it was in his driveway after I dropped him off from going somewhere, maybe a drink or happy hour. I never really thought about what that meant, but I did know at the time, it meant I liked this guy who played girls like the guitar he strummed those nights he hung out with his roommates. Not long after that first kiss, they became more frequent as he and I developed more than just crushes on each other. I discovered that the player ways came after he ended a long term relationship with a girl he lived with - more are a coping mechanism than an actual lifestyle.
Upon asking him later, he said he wasn't really "that guy" and just wanted to try it out for a while. It didn't really suit him, especially after getting caught so many times during the course of his escapades. I found out later that when we started dating, he called it off with every other girl he was seeing because I was different. I thought it was statements like this that kept me interested, made me think about him every day without fail, but as our relationship went on, I realized I would miss his smell most of all.
It wasn't a exactly a smell, per se, but more of an aura. My friend B called it phermones - the scent that attracts people to one another. I realized his was different after hanging out with another person whose smell was, to put it lightly, raunchy. Like he hadn't showered in a few days, even though I know he had good personal hygiene. With S, it was different. His smell was dangerous - like I couldn't resist it. He didn't wear cologne or aftershave, and he didn't use fruity bodywash or body spray that on commercials would make women melt. It was just...him. He smelled like a mixture of chlorine and soap - a scent that later would make me ache with missing him.
People say that a smell triggers a memory, but my memory doesn't need a trigger. It remembers all on its own.
S was, well, he was a player when I met him. He dated a couple girls at the same time, complaining to a mutual friend that one would find out about the other and both would get mad and break it off with him after which he would just start all over again. I could never figure out what attracted the sea of women that liked this tall, goofy, long-haired and carefree guy. Then again, I became enthralled by him myself.
I was dating someone else at the time - a guy who was kind, driven and, at first, admired the independent spirit I had in me. Slowly, however, I realized that the over-confident exterior that he showed to the rest of the world was just a cover for the insecurities he felt. He became far too clingy and before too long, I longed to be rid of the whiny behavior he began to display. Then S came around. He seemed like the perfect way to spend my Christmas vacation.
During finals week, we studied together, spending long nights at Milagro or International Delights where we would end up just talking and sipping coffee, getting to know each other's personality a little better. He was, by all intents and purposes, just the opposite of what I'd been looking for. He had drive, but he wasn't lethal about it - he didn't need to get to the top to be satisfied with his life. He studied too much, spent far too much time hitting the books, but managed to make time for his friends and swimming. It was intriguing how this aloof character could manage to hold my attention.
I can't seem to remember our first kiss. I don't know when it happened...I only remember it was in his driveway after I dropped him off from going somewhere, maybe a drink or happy hour. I never really thought about what that meant, but I did know at the time, it meant I liked this guy who played girls like the guitar he strummed those nights he hung out with his roommates. Not long after that first kiss, they became more frequent as he and I developed more than just crushes on each other. I discovered that the player ways came after he ended a long term relationship with a girl he lived with - more are a coping mechanism than an actual lifestyle.
Upon asking him later, he said he wasn't really "that guy" and just wanted to try it out for a while. It didn't really suit him, especially after getting caught so many times during the course of his escapades. I found out later that when we started dating, he called it off with every other girl he was seeing because I was different. I thought it was statements like this that kept me interested, made me think about him every day without fail, but as our relationship went on, I realized I would miss his smell most of all.
It wasn't a exactly a smell, per se, but more of an aura. My friend B called it phermones - the scent that attracts people to one another. I realized his was different after hanging out with another person whose smell was, to put it lightly, raunchy. Like he hadn't showered in a few days, even though I know he had good personal hygiene. With S, it was different. His smell was dangerous - like I couldn't resist it. He didn't wear cologne or aftershave, and he didn't use fruity bodywash or body spray that on commercials would make women melt. It was just...him. He smelled like a mixture of chlorine and soap - a scent that later would make me ache with missing him.
People say that a smell triggers a memory, but my memory doesn't need a trigger. It remembers all on its own.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Future
Numerous web searches on a number of sites have lead me to this place. A place I'd like to call: Panic.
It started with a harmless search for a job for a friend on the State of Colorado website. Then, a visit to the State of New Mexico's website confirmed the same news: hiring freeze.
Until now, all the talks about "recession" and "poor economy" and "deficit" were just terms - unrelated to me and those around me. I have a job. My best friends have jobs. They aren't struggling in the "down" economy. But it all became real when I looked at my life just six months from now.
In six months, I will be gearing up to graduate - taking comprehensive exams and finishing up a research project based on the experiences of my summer fellowship - and I will probably have that nagging sensation that somehow, someway, I should have a plan. It's already beginning to come to fruition in my planner brain (that which I cannot help). I've always had a plan. Even when I graduated the first time, I had a plan to enter a bright and shiny career in journalism. Initially, the career didn't come, but I only had to wait two months for two stellar job offers to come my way - unheard of for someone as green and "just out of school" as me. I didn't freak out because I had a waitressing job to fall back on should I ever need it, and it never occurred to me that this would ever be "unacceptable."
Now, I look forward a bit to that six month mark and I wonder what I'm going to do with a "bad" economy like this. Now, the recession is hitting closer and closer to home. Friends who are overly qualified for a number of jobs are applying to be assistant managers at Wal-Mart and others are struggling to find even temp work. Still others are taking teaching positions that pay peanuts in order to make ends meet.
All this stirs up the rumblings of a panic attack.
My mom is constantly telling me things will be fine - which is obviously what moms do - and she claims things will all fall into place for me in the end, like they always have. But I have come to question this logic. In some ways, I've been lucky to achieve what I have achieved. In other ways, I have a long way to go before truly becoming "successful." It starts (and ends) with the degree I've worked for the past three years (off and on) and setting myself up to maneuver into the next step.
With the next six months of my life planned (almost) to the day, what lies beyond is almost too much to comprehend. "Luck" and "circumstance" aside, there isn't much I know. Except uncertainty. And that's just what I fear the most.
It started with a harmless search for a job for a friend on the State of Colorado website. Then, a visit to the State of New Mexico's website confirmed the same news: hiring freeze.
Until now, all the talks about "recession" and "poor economy" and "deficit" were just terms - unrelated to me and those around me. I have a job. My best friends have jobs. They aren't struggling in the "down" economy. But it all became real when I looked at my life just six months from now.
In six months, I will be gearing up to graduate - taking comprehensive exams and finishing up a research project based on the experiences of my summer fellowship - and I will probably have that nagging sensation that somehow, someway, I should have a plan. It's already beginning to come to fruition in my planner brain (that which I cannot help). I've always had a plan. Even when I graduated the first time, I had a plan to enter a bright and shiny career in journalism. Initially, the career didn't come, but I only had to wait two months for two stellar job offers to come my way - unheard of for someone as green and "just out of school" as me. I didn't freak out because I had a waitressing job to fall back on should I ever need it, and it never occurred to me that this would ever be "unacceptable."
Now, I look forward a bit to that six month mark and I wonder what I'm going to do with a "bad" economy like this. Now, the recession is hitting closer and closer to home. Friends who are overly qualified for a number of jobs are applying to be assistant managers at Wal-Mart and others are struggling to find even temp work. Still others are taking teaching positions that pay peanuts in order to make ends meet.
All this stirs up the rumblings of a panic attack.
My mom is constantly telling me things will be fine - which is obviously what moms do - and she claims things will all fall into place for me in the end, like they always have. But I have come to question this logic. In some ways, I've been lucky to achieve what I have achieved. In other ways, I have a long way to go before truly becoming "successful." It starts (and ends) with the degree I've worked for the past three years (off and on) and setting myself up to maneuver into the next step.
With the next six months of my life planned (almost) to the day, what lies beyond is almost too much to comprehend. "Luck" and "circumstance" aside, there isn't much I know. Except uncertainty. And that's just what I fear the most.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Day One
Well, here I am. In Santa Fe at my new digs, which is inside the New Mexico Film Office and Museum in Downtown Santa Fe. Literally 10 steps away from the Rail Runner station and only a five-minute walk from the Plaza. Across the street (where I spent my lunch break) is a little cafe inside a shopping center that has all of these little cutesy boutique shops that have handmade clothes, European jewelry and just about everything I can't really afford. Oh, and they have a Borders...which is good since I have (in one day between the train and lunch) read 120 pages of my book that I started this morning. I might need many more than I brought.
Rewind.
I'm in Santa Fe for the Governor's Fellowship, which has allowed me a 10-week fellowship with the state department of my choosing. For this, I chose the Economic Development Department, which oversees new industries in the state as well as various other endeavors such as the New Mexico Film Office. Originally, the EDD had assigned me to the Spaceport Office in Las Cruces, which they informed me of the morning of the fellows orientation on Thursday afternoon...a mere three hours AFTER I moved all of my stuff into Lauren and Staci's apartment in Albuquerque and only one day after packing and loading everything I possess into a storage unit less than a mile from the apartment that used to be mine. In other words, going back to Las Cruces was NOT an option. After a mild panic attack for this new revelation...I kindly (but firmly) informed the woman in charge that I had moved to Albuquerque for this opportunity and that I couldn't return any time soon, since there was nothing to return to (aside from my smelly brother's couch...and that's just not an option).
So, this morning after I woke up at 5 a.m. (after not getting much sleep last night - anxiety mixed with fear of not waking up in time), and drove to the Rail Runner station (which is only TWO MINUTES from my house), I was on my way on the one hour, 10 minute journey that is the trek to Santa Fe. I showed up when I was supposed to at the Montoya Building (really close to the train station) and met a few of the other fellows that will be working in the EDD (five altogether). Three of us showed up and I was (again) informed that I would be in the Las Cruces Spaceport office. I said "No, that should have been worked out," and they confirmed with the Cabinet Secretary that I was speaking the truth, and the three of us were ushered into our respective offices. However, my office was Downtown in the NM Film Office, which was scary at first and a relief thereafter. The train stops JUST 10 STEPS AWAY FROM MY BUILDING!
I spent most of the morning researching the Film Office and the duties and responsibilities they have to production companies and those locals who want to become employed with the film industry in New Mexico. The opportunities are endless! The office casual, but professional and so far, the people have been extremely polite and helpful. I have yet to find out what project I will be working on, but I'm sure that will happen soon.
The whole point of this fellowship experience is to find enough information to write a research project that has to do with policy implications of film in New Mexico. My work here will hopefully open the doors to all of this information and allow me to develop a research question and paper idea on how New Mexico works to promote its budding film industry and the ways in which the public can be involved in these efforts. Hopefully I will find out soon what will occupy my time for the next 10 weeks, but until then, it's email letters to my friends.
Oh, and did I mention how the weather is fabulous? No wonder people live in Santa Fe...it's actually COOL in the SUMMER. Unheard of everywhere else in New Mexico (especially Cruces). I'm going to find it awfully difficult to return to the blazing heat in August. Lord, help me, but I'm hoping to remain a Santa Fe girl.
Rewind.
I'm in Santa Fe for the Governor's Fellowship, which has allowed me a 10-week fellowship with the state department of my choosing. For this, I chose the Economic Development Department, which oversees new industries in the state as well as various other endeavors such as the New Mexico Film Office. Originally, the EDD had assigned me to the Spaceport Office in Las Cruces, which they informed me of the morning of the fellows orientation on Thursday afternoon...a mere three hours AFTER I moved all of my stuff into Lauren and Staci's apartment in Albuquerque and only one day after packing and loading everything I possess into a storage unit less than a mile from the apartment that used to be mine. In other words, going back to Las Cruces was NOT an option. After a mild panic attack for this new revelation...I kindly (but firmly) informed the woman in charge that I had moved to Albuquerque for this opportunity and that I couldn't return any time soon, since there was nothing to return to (aside from my smelly brother's couch...and that's just not an option).
So, this morning after I woke up at 5 a.m. (after not getting much sleep last night - anxiety mixed with fear of not waking up in time), and drove to the Rail Runner station (which is only TWO MINUTES from my house), I was on my way on the one hour, 10 minute journey that is the trek to Santa Fe. I showed up when I was supposed to at the Montoya Building (really close to the train station) and met a few of the other fellows that will be working in the EDD (five altogether). Three of us showed up and I was (again) informed that I would be in the Las Cruces Spaceport office. I said "No, that should have been worked out," and they confirmed with the Cabinet Secretary that I was speaking the truth, and the three of us were ushered into our respective offices. However, my office was Downtown in the NM Film Office, which was scary at first and a relief thereafter. The train stops JUST 10 STEPS AWAY FROM MY BUILDING!
I spent most of the morning researching the Film Office and the duties and responsibilities they have to production companies and those locals who want to become employed with the film industry in New Mexico. The opportunities are endless! The office casual, but professional and so far, the people have been extremely polite and helpful. I have yet to find out what project I will be working on, but I'm sure that will happen soon.
The whole point of this fellowship experience is to find enough information to write a research project that has to do with policy implications of film in New Mexico. My work here will hopefully open the doors to all of this information and allow me to develop a research question and paper idea on how New Mexico works to promote its budding film industry and the ways in which the public can be involved in these efforts. Hopefully I will find out soon what will occupy my time for the next 10 weeks, but until then, it's email letters to my friends.
Oh, and did I mention how the weather is fabulous? No wonder people live in Santa Fe...it's actually COOL in the SUMMER. Unheard of everywhere else in New Mexico (especially Cruces). I'm going to find it awfully difficult to return to the blazing heat in August. Lord, help me, but I'm hoping to remain a Santa Fe girl.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Wedding Madness
So, today I was thinking about all of the weddings I have been to in the past five years or so, and I wanted to make a list (since I have four coming up in the next two years, as well).
Here goes:
1. Daniel and Stephanie (in Iowa - top 3 best weddings)
2. Kenny and Amanda (from Cracker Barrel - had to sit at the "singles" table with thre others...)
3. Josh and Candice (from Cracker Barrel)
4. Carlos and Elaine (cousin)
5. Josh and Ginnie (friend from high school)
6. Isaac and Sarah (friend from high school)
7. Tessa and Josh (friends from high school)
8. An almost wedding in Hawaii (which I'm counting, since we still went to the reception)
9. Andrea and Joe (friend from grad school - top 3 best weddings)
10. Theresa Jo and Chris (cousin - I was in this one with 12 other bridesmaids)
11. Heather and Isaac (sorority and pledge sister)
And coming up soon...
1. Ed and Darby (friends from college)
2. Jake and Jodi (friend from grad school)
3. Jessica and Kenny (friend from college - going to be top 3 best weddings)
4. Kelsey and Adam (sorority sister and family member)
I think there are more, but I just can't remember at the moment...I like weddings, but COME ON, PEOPLE! Just kidding, Jess...I have high hopes for yours. :o)
Here goes:
1. Daniel and Stephanie (in Iowa - top 3 best weddings)
2. Kenny and Amanda (from Cracker Barrel - had to sit at the "singles" table with thre others...)
3. Josh and Candice (from Cracker Barrel)
4. Carlos and Elaine (cousin)
5. Josh and Ginnie (friend from high school)
6. Isaac and Sarah (friend from high school)
7. Tessa and Josh (friends from high school)
8. An almost wedding in Hawaii (which I'm counting, since we still went to the reception)
9. Andrea and Joe (friend from grad school - top 3 best weddings)
10. Theresa Jo and Chris (cousin - I was in this one with 12 other bridesmaids)
11. Heather and Isaac (sorority and pledge sister)
And coming up soon...
1. Ed and Darby (friends from college)
2. Jake and Jodi (friend from grad school)
3. Jessica and Kenny (friend from college - going to be top 3 best weddings)
4. Kelsey and Adam (sorority sister and family member)
I think there are more, but I just can't remember at the moment...I like weddings, but COME ON, PEOPLE! Just kidding, Jess...I have high hopes for yours. :o)
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The list
In a conversation with a good friend this morning, he suggested I make a list of the things I want in a guy. I do believe the advice he gave me was: "By this point, you need to break down exactly what you want from a relationship. You are too old now for nonsense."
Point taken. Jeff, here you go.
My list:
*1. Intelligent (or has the ability to carry on an intelligent conversation)
*2. Not so hippie that I can't take him home to my shotgun-toting dad.
*3. In tune to my need for space and having my own life; he should
have HIS own life and friends, too.
4. The ability to "go with the flow" whether it's out at a club or a
night, quiet game night in.
5. Doesn't make inappropriate comments to me (some flirtation is okay,
but dirty has a time and place).
6. Eclectic taste in movies, music, interests, etc.
7. Has a job or a degree or an idea of what he wants to do with his
life (and it has to be at least reasonable)
8. Ability to manage money (not frugal, but smarter than me).
*9. Great sense of humor - not gross, but sarcastic and a tad on the
"picking on me" side.
*10. Can't be a pussy - has to be able to stand up to me and tell me
what I need to hear, when I need to hear it.
11. Taller than me...
12. Not obsessed with his body image (this is a must), but would be
willing to run with me or go for a walk or hike every once in a while.
13. Can appreciate the merits of camping one weekend and city hopping
the next - I have a balance, so I want him to, too.
14. Physically proficient and giving...in the sack.
*15. Gets along with my friends and recognizes the need to have
"girl's nights" every once in a while, but could feel comfortable
around them, as well.
*Indicates a "dealbreaker"
Point taken. Jeff, here you go.
My list:
*1. Intelligent (or has the ability to carry on an intelligent conversation)
*2. Not so hippie that I can't take him home to my shotgun-toting dad.
*3. In tune to my need for space and having my own life; he should
have HIS own life and friends, too.
4. The ability to "go with the flow" whether it's out at a club or a
night, quiet game night in.
5. Doesn't make inappropriate comments to me (some flirtation is okay,
but dirty has a time and place).
6. Eclectic taste in movies, music, interests, etc.
7. Has a job or a degree or an idea of what he wants to do with his
life (and it has to be at least reasonable)
8. Ability to manage money (not frugal, but smarter than me).
*9. Great sense of humor - not gross, but sarcastic and a tad on the
"picking on me" side.
*10. Can't be a pussy - has to be able to stand up to me and tell me
what I need to hear, when I need to hear it.
11. Taller than me...
12. Not obsessed with his body image (this is a must), but would be
willing to run with me or go for a walk or hike every once in a while.
13. Can appreciate the merits of camping one weekend and city hopping
the next - I have a balance, so I want him to, too.
14. Physically proficient and giving...in the sack.
*15. Gets along with my friends and recognizes the need to have
"girl's nights" every once in a while, but could feel comfortable
around them, as well.
*Indicates a "dealbreaker"
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Is this what panic looks like?
Last night, I looked in the mirror for a long time, studying my face and pointing out the flaws to myself. I have the typical college student's bags under my eyes, the flecks of mascara under my eyes from being a little groggy while studying and the small scab on my chin from nervously picking at a problem zit. Not exactly attractive, I was thinking. But this isn't the face of someone who has their shit together - no sir. This is the face of someone who, in less than two months, could be living in a storage unit. This is the face of panic.
Now, I'm trying not to exaggerate, but I can't help but feel an extreme sense of panic when I look that far into the future. In my head, the year is laid out in a calendar format. There are two rows of months, all nice and neat and ready to be lived. Normally, I can see all the months and the occasional big dates stick out at me - various weddings, family trips and the day school starts...but starting at the end of May, the two months in between then and the fall semester are completely blank. I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing. There are options floating around out there, but until I hear back from a few of them, I'm left in the cold and staring down the barrel of a dark summer.
As I get closer and closer to the end of the semester, motivation is getting thinner and thinner. Not sure what will pull me out of the dark hole, but until then, it's procrastination and panic.
Now, I'm trying not to exaggerate, but I can't help but feel an extreme sense of panic when I look that far into the future. In my head, the year is laid out in a calendar format. There are two rows of months, all nice and neat and ready to be lived. Normally, I can see all the months and the occasional big dates stick out at me - various weddings, family trips and the day school starts...but starting at the end of May, the two months in between then and the fall semester are completely blank. I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing. There are options floating around out there, but until I hear back from a few of them, I'm left in the cold and staring down the barrel of a dark summer.
As I get closer and closer to the end of the semester, motivation is getting thinner and thinner. Not sure what will pull me out of the dark hole, but until then, it's procrastination and panic.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Contagious as a monkey
I've finally contracted the cold that everyone in my life seemed to have last week and now, in one of the busiest months I will ever have, I am sick as a dog and getting progressively worse. It started Sunday with a sore throat and continued Monday. I thought if I stayed home from class Monday afternoon, I would nap and take some Vitamin C and feel better this morning. No such luck.
Since then, I have a REALLY sore throat and now, to go along with it, I have a runny nose and a hacking cough. I don't smoke - I swear! If I don't feel better tomorrow morning, it's off to the Student Health Center to get some cheap doctor advice and hopefully nip this bug in the bud.
On a lighter note, the cold was probably caused by minimal sleep during a stellar birthday week. I celebrated with family and friends and truly feel loved by all of them. I L-O-V-E LOVE birthdays!
Since then, I have a REALLY sore throat and now, to go along with it, I have a runny nose and a hacking cough. I don't smoke - I swear! If I don't feel better tomorrow morning, it's off to the Student Health Center to get some cheap doctor advice and hopefully nip this bug in the bud.
On a lighter note, the cold was probably caused by minimal sleep during a stellar birthday week. I celebrated with family and friends and truly feel loved by all of them. I L-O-V-E LOVE birthdays!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
What the future holds
I just completed my application for the New Mexico Fellows Program for Summer 2009. I have applied to work with the Economic Development Department, and I want it so bad! It's perfect for me - writing, research, editing and developing promotion materials for their many programs. I will send it all off tomorrow, and then wait to hear until probably the end of April. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
This week is the week of my 25th birthday, which is super exciting (because I love birthdays) and scary (because I'm halfway to 50). OMG. I know.
This week is the week of my 25th birthday, which is super exciting (because I love birthdays) and scary (because I'm halfway to 50). OMG. I know.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Love Me Like You Mean It
I love live music.
I mean, I seriously love live music. I saw a singer/songwriter tonight at the Black Box Theatre in Las Cruces from Austin, Texas. Her name was Molly Venter and she had a unique sound about her. She travels all over to perform, in front of packed house and not-so-packed houses and still manages to have a passion for her music.
Live music is really about giving up a little of your life to someone for a just a few hours. I like it. I wish I was a musician.
I mean, I seriously love live music. I saw a singer/songwriter tonight at the Black Box Theatre in Las Cruces from Austin, Texas. Her name was Molly Venter and she had a unique sound about her. She travels all over to perform, in front of packed house and not-so-packed houses and still manages to have a passion for her music.
Live music is really about giving up a little of your life to someone for a just a few hours. I like it. I wish I was a musician.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Everything in moderation
Being obsessive-compulsive is something I struggle with every day. I have a way to do things that doesn't revolve around the norm. I kind of march to my own drum - the drum that misses one beat or seven every once in a while and leaves the rest of the band with incredulous looks on their faces, asking "who the f*** are you?"
Lately, this obsessive-compulsive behavior has had a different effect on my life. Instead of engaging in the typical organization-type behavior, I find myself unable to control even the simplest of urges. This could be related to my need to watch every episode of America's Next Top Model on a Sunday afternoon or my need to fulfill the extreme craving for a disgusting meal of Taco Bell or a delicious one at Mix Express. It's like, when I get a craving or an interest in something, nothing can stop me - not anyone else, or my conscience or the knowledge that I'm going to feel like shit afterward.
It is like this with the relationships I engage in, as well. When I get into one, it's like crack. I can't get enough, I have cravings that need to be satisfied and it leads me to believe that it will never be enough.
Then it is.
I break it off, get really sad, then crave it like crack again. It's a sickness...a way to completely undermine any decision I have actually made. My mom says you have to make a decision and then be confident enough in that decision to allow yourself the comfort in the outcome. I counter this with, "what if you're a complete psycho and incapable of making decisions that matter?"
I guess until I figure out a way to make decisions, then stick with them, I will continue being a part of the band line that misses a beat every once in a while, or throughout an entire performance. Either way, the decisions will have to wait until I regain some sort of composure.
Lately, this obsessive-compulsive behavior has had a different effect on my life. Instead of engaging in the typical organization-type behavior, I find myself unable to control even the simplest of urges. This could be related to my need to watch every episode of America's Next Top Model on a Sunday afternoon or my need to fulfill the extreme craving for a disgusting meal of Taco Bell or a delicious one at Mix Express. It's like, when I get a craving or an interest in something, nothing can stop me - not anyone else, or my conscience or the knowledge that I'm going to feel like shit afterward.
It is like this with the relationships I engage in, as well. When I get into one, it's like crack. I can't get enough, I have cravings that need to be satisfied and it leads me to believe that it will never be enough.
Then it is.
I break it off, get really sad, then crave it like crack again. It's a sickness...a way to completely undermine any decision I have actually made. My mom says you have to make a decision and then be confident enough in that decision to allow yourself the comfort in the outcome. I counter this with, "what if you're a complete psycho and incapable of making decisions that matter?"
I guess until I figure out a way to make decisions, then stick with them, I will continue being a part of the band line that misses a beat every once in a while, or throughout an entire performance. Either way, the decisions will have to wait until I regain some sort of composure.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Dark and twisty
Monday was hard. It was a day that held challenges in more ways than one. I fell into a funk - one that I couldn't come out of for a few days. Talking to a friend helped me realize that it's okay to be "dark and twisty" sometimes. It doesn't mean that I will forever feel the way I am feeling or that I'm depressed. Funks happen and they can happen for any number of reasons - boys, work, school, friends, anything.
I officially came out of my funk Saturday morning. I felt great...and still do, almost 48 hours later. I had an absolutely fabulous weekend of friends and family, watching movies, vegging out on the couch and spending a little time on me. I guess I just needed it in a lot of ways.
Now, I am going into one of the busiest weeks I will have this semester and I feel prepared for anything. I'm finally on the upswing and I can see dark and twisty falling behind me.
I officially came out of my funk Saturday morning. I felt great...and still do, almost 48 hours later. I had an absolutely fabulous weekend of friends and family, watching movies, vegging out on the couch and spending a little time on me. I guess I just needed it in a lot of ways.
Now, I am going into one of the busiest weeks I will have this semester and I feel prepared for anything. I'm finally on the upswing and I can see dark and twisty falling behind me.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Wondering
Last night, I sat cross-legged on the floor of my little brother's old room inside my childhood home in front of the bookshelf my dad made with his own hands. On the bottom shelf, there are 20 or so scrapbooks that my mom has crafted over the years, documenting family trips, reunions, birthdays, Christmas, vacations and graduations. I enjoy taking a trip down memory lane every once in a while, but this time, I became very emotional as I turned one of the scrapbooks toward the end.
This particular one documented a summer trip to Disneyland just a few months before I started my senior year of high school. Not only did I have killer legs (I'm telling you--it was the soccer), I was with Gilbert, the supposed love of my life. It went through the photos of us in Goofy hats, wearing "It's A Bug's Life" 3-D glasses and riding in mini red cars. There was one of us crashed out in the backseat of my parent's suburban.
As I sat there in the middle of the floor, tears poured down my face and I cried for all of the things I have lost in the past seven years - whether it was a family member, a friend or a first love. I guess it's normal to have these kinds of emotions every once in a while, but as I got up and slid the book back into its rightful place below the medical books my mom still keeps for reference, I couldn't help but shed a tear for a love lost and what might have been.
This particular one documented a summer trip to Disneyland just a few months before I started my senior year of high school. Not only did I have killer legs (I'm telling you--it was the soccer), I was with Gilbert, the supposed love of my life. It went through the photos of us in Goofy hats, wearing "It's A Bug's Life" 3-D glasses and riding in mini red cars. There was one of us crashed out in the backseat of my parent's suburban.
As I sat there in the middle of the floor, tears poured down my face and I cried for all of the things I have lost in the past seven years - whether it was a family member, a friend or a first love. I guess it's normal to have these kinds of emotions every once in a while, but as I got up and slid the book back into its rightful place below the medical books my mom still keeps for reference, I couldn't help but shed a tear for a love lost and what might have been.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Whirlwind Update
For my two readers:
1. The puppy is no longer in my care. Turns out, I am too busy to nurture a living being and she needed a little bit more attention than an adult dog. It was one of the toughest decisions I've ever had to make because she was so sweet and caring and I just adored her. But she is living with a family in Rio Rancho who has kids and two other dogs for her to play with - I know she is being loved and entertained like I couldn't for her.
2. Broke up with the most recent guy I was dating(ish), but now we are talking again, so I don't know what will happen.
3. Weddings, weddings and more weddings...that's all I've been hearing about lately. And if ONE MORE PERSON tells me they are getting married, I'm going to jump off the Picacho Bridge. Or just get hammered.
4. School is kicking my ass. Wait, that's not true. The professor I'm working for is kicking my ass. It's one thing after another and I can't quite catch up or keep up with the demands.
5. I'm broke...like sell my kidneys broke. I need a lifestyle change and FAST.
6. My knee is no good anymore. I developed patellar tendonitis and have to wear a band around the knee and ice it twice a day since it hurts to put all my weight on it. Hopefully, someday, I will be a normal girl.
That's all for now... I will post again soon because I really miss blatantly talking about myself to those few who care to read.
1. The puppy is no longer in my care. Turns out, I am too busy to nurture a living being and she needed a little bit more attention than an adult dog. It was one of the toughest decisions I've ever had to make because she was so sweet and caring and I just adored her. But she is living with a family in Rio Rancho who has kids and two other dogs for her to play with - I know she is being loved and entertained like I couldn't for her.
2. Broke up with the most recent guy I was dating(ish), but now we are talking again, so I don't know what will happen.
3. Weddings, weddings and more weddings...that's all I've been hearing about lately. And if ONE MORE PERSON tells me they are getting married, I'm going to jump off the Picacho Bridge. Or just get hammered.
4. School is kicking my ass. Wait, that's not true. The professor I'm working for is kicking my ass. It's one thing after another and I can't quite catch up or keep up with the demands.
5. I'm broke...like sell my kidneys broke. I need a lifestyle change and FAST.
6. My knee is no good anymore. I developed patellar tendonitis and have to wear a band around the knee and ice it twice a day since it hurts to put all my weight on it. Hopefully, someday, I will be a normal girl.
That's all for now... I will post again soon because I really miss blatantly talking about myself to those few who care to read.
Monday, February 9, 2009
A new member of the family
So I did it. It's done. I adopted a puppy.
She is a little special needs, since she is recovering from a broken leg and surgery to fix it. The leg will never be straight and she walks with a limp, but she is probably the sweetest, most lovable dog I have ever seen.
She was rescued from the Mesilla Valley Animal Services by From the Heart Rescue Center, a no-kill shelter in Canutillo, NM.
She had an upper respiratory infection and a broken front left leg, and it had been broken for two weeks. They performed surgery on her and she can walk around, run a little and play, but will walk with a limp for the rest of her life.
I have yet to name her, but I am deciding between Penny, Bella or Penny.
I am more nervous than anything to be a mom, which is totally what it feels like. I'm scared, plain and simple, but she needs a good home, so here I am.
Monday, January 26, 2009
It's a sickness...
...this obsession I have with Grey's Anatomy. Those people are my friends. Meredith is my sick, twisted big sister and McDreamy is the boyfriend I never knew I always wanted. I just watched the best Grey's episode which reminds me why I started watching Grey's in the first place.
Watch it.
Watch it.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
The guy in every relationship
This article is exactly why I'm not ready for a relationship. Haha...came across it and thought I would share.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Silence the cynics.
Today was a day of firsts, and in honor of those firsts, I would like to say "God Bless America."
Congrats, President Obama!
Congrats, President Obama!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Wound Up
Sometimes I find myself in this state. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, there is no hope for me to sleep, so I find myself becoming involved in a project. Most of the time, it’s cleaning…but since I spent the night last night writing and cleaning my apartment, it’s time for a blog.
This happens after I have had an entire day of stimulation – today I worked really early until really late, on deadline and swamped with writing all day. I had physical therapy for two hours and Corey (my therapist) started me on strengthening exercises that are far more tiring than the stretching I have been doing for the past five weeks. It’s like going to the gym in the middle of the day. Then I visited with my best friends over enchiladas, beer and reality TV, talking about our lives and laughing at the crazy people on TV. I just wrapped up an hour and a half conversation with my mom and it felt great to get a lot off my chest and have her tell me that things will work themselves out.
I honestly believe it, too. I have been struggling with a few things lately, namely people who turned out to be different than what I expected. Not good, not bad – just different. I began to question myself when I was with this person, which is never something I want to do. A long time ago, I came to the conclusion that I wouldn’t compromise myself for another and in a lot of ways, I feel like that’s what’s happening in this relationship.
I admit, a lot of how I am feeling stems from guilt that I feel and the problem I have with coming out and admitting that there is a problem. Most times, I feel myself begin to tell every one but the person that I am affecting the most about the issue, which backfires and often turns into more than what I originally intended.
I guess what I am trying to say in all of this is that I have come to a certain point in my life – a point of contentment. I am content in my life as it is now – the being busy most times, enjoying friends, new and old, school, work, meeting new people and having my own things that I love to do. My only fear now is letting down my guard long enough to give another person a shot at being what I need. In the end, that’s the only way to true contentment – being comfortable with yourself enough to truly give another person what there is of you, good or bad. I guess what I need is to know that this will happen – or whether I need to MAKE this happen for myself. Do you wake up one day and decide that you will be more flexible and stop finding fault in things long enough to make yourself vulnerable to another person? When is it right? How do you know? Does something just click?
Rhetorical questions to the universe.
And my mom says I look at the glass half full. A little over the year ago, I was looking at the glass half empty with someone chugging it. I am so happy to have come so far.
This happens after I have had an entire day of stimulation – today I worked really early until really late, on deadline and swamped with writing all day. I had physical therapy for two hours and Corey (my therapist) started me on strengthening exercises that are far more tiring than the stretching I have been doing for the past five weeks. It’s like going to the gym in the middle of the day. Then I visited with my best friends over enchiladas, beer and reality TV, talking about our lives and laughing at the crazy people on TV. I just wrapped up an hour and a half conversation with my mom and it felt great to get a lot off my chest and have her tell me that things will work themselves out.
I honestly believe it, too. I have been struggling with a few things lately, namely people who turned out to be different than what I expected. Not good, not bad – just different. I began to question myself when I was with this person, which is never something I want to do. A long time ago, I came to the conclusion that I wouldn’t compromise myself for another and in a lot of ways, I feel like that’s what’s happening in this relationship.
I admit, a lot of how I am feeling stems from guilt that I feel and the problem I have with coming out and admitting that there is a problem. Most times, I feel myself begin to tell every one but the person that I am affecting the most about the issue, which backfires and often turns into more than what I originally intended.
I guess what I am trying to say in all of this is that I have come to a certain point in my life – a point of contentment. I am content in my life as it is now – the being busy most times, enjoying friends, new and old, school, work, meeting new people and having my own things that I love to do. My only fear now is letting down my guard long enough to give another person a shot at being what I need. In the end, that’s the only way to true contentment – being comfortable with yourself enough to truly give another person what there is of you, good or bad. I guess what I need is to know that this will happen – or whether I need to MAKE this happen for myself. Do you wake up one day and decide that you will be more flexible and stop finding fault in things long enough to make yourself vulnerable to another person? When is it right? How do you know? Does something just click?
Rhetorical questions to the universe.
And my mom says I look at the glass half full. A little over the year ago, I was looking at the glass half empty with someone chugging it. I am so happy to have come so far.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Break is over
So school starts Jan. 14, and I have yet to accomplish the things I was supposed to accomplish over the break. In addition, I have $290 worth of books to buy this semester, which is about $200 more than I am used to spending! Add to that the $600 in hospital bills, I am a little strapped for cash.
These days, I am used to working at the Bulletin full time, so it's going to be hard to get into another routine. This semester, I am taking Comparative Politics with Dr. Harvey, Organizational Communication in the Comm department and Law and Sex with Dr. Baker. I am really excited about this semester and I resolve to work ahead of time on all the projects I will have to do at the end of the semester so I don't have another weekend of 36 hours of work straight.
These days, I am used to working at the Bulletin full time, so it's going to be hard to get into another routine. This semester, I am taking Comparative Politics with Dr. Harvey, Organizational Communication in the Comm department and Law and Sex with Dr. Baker. I am really excited about this semester and I resolve to work ahead of time on all the projects I will have to do at the end of the semester so I don't have another weekend of 36 hours of work straight.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
New Year's Resolutions
Well, it's day one of 2009. It's going to be a big year for me. Hopefully, there is a movie in my future, a change in career and a new degree to be proud of. There is so much I want to do this year - and my life is the better for it. Here are a few of those:
1. I want to run a half marathon before the year ends - which begins with actually being able to run.
2. I want to find direction and work toward a rewarding career.
3. I want to save $5,000 this year and pay off my credit card.
4. I want to make plans to travel and stick with it - even if it's just a weekend away.
5. I want to graduate with a 4.0.
6. I want to approach problems with an open mind and open heart and realize people make mistakes, including myself.
7. I want to blog more - at least once a week.
Cheers to 2009, my friends!
1. I want to run a half marathon before the year ends - which begins with actually being able to run.
2. I want to find direction and work toward a rewarding career.
3. I want to save $5,000 this year and pay off my credit card.
4. I want to make plans to travel and stick with it - even if it's just a weekend away.
5. I want to graduate with a 4.0.
6. I want to approach problems with an open mind and open heart and realize people make mistakes, including myself.
7. I want to blog more - at least once a week.
Cheers to 2009, my friends!
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